Emotion: Uncomfortable
Meaning: 1) We perceive that something isn’t the way we think it ought to be.
2) We perceive an unacceptable probability that something will be wrong.

It’s Not The Way We Think It Ought to Be

Uncomfortable means you perceive that something isn’t the way you think it ought to be or you perceive an unacceptable probability that something will be wrong. The first thing to consider is what you think ought to be the case, and try to figure out why you think it might not be that way. If something isn’t right, what can you do about it? Once you know what to do about it and start taking action, the Uncomfortableness should go away.

If your solution is always to back away from something, you will be trapped in the safety of what you can already do. This limits your growth. You should always be reaching beyond yourself, and Uncomfortable, like Inadequacy, is a feeling that tells you that you are no longer certain you can do what you are trying to do. You have stepped beyond your comfort zone to try to do something you’ve never done before. It might not go the way you want it to go, and how far outside what you’re sure you can do will define how Uncomfortable you will be. The more Uncomfortable you feel, the greater the danger of something going wrong.

Uncomfortable, as opposed in Inadequacy, often includes having variables beyond your control. Inadequacy often arises from an expected or demanded ability to be able to do something, which Uncomfortable more often includes things beyond your total control. Sometimes, Uncomfortable means you’ve exercised control to make things like you don’t want them to be right now, but you’re doing it for a future reason that you cannot personally create.

For example, if you’re lifting weights, your first repetition of an exercise will probably feel pretty good. After a few reps, you start to feel Uncomfortable. If you keep pushing, the level of Discomfort will increase until it borders on pain. The increasing levels of Uncomfortable you feel tell you that with every rep, the probability of something going wrong increases. Soon, you won’t be able to lift the weight at all, and if you push too hard past that, you will injure yourself.

Financially, you might create a situation in which you have almost no money. All your available cash might be doing to a retirement fund, or in savings to start a new business, or toward a down payment on a home. You might be Uncomfortable because you barely have enough money to live on, but you might do it to yourself because you’re trying to create a result.

Monitor the Intensity

When you feel Uncomfortable, you should monitor your feeling. If it becomes intense, you know that you are approaching a level where you perceive the probability of failure to be very high. You need to acknowledge the possibility of failure, and as the probability grows, you need to be prepared for it.

Moral Discomfort

If you feel Uncomfortable with a situation, such as a potential moral quandary, it means you perceive that something isn’t the way you think it ought to be. A manager might be asking you to falsify some information to keep a project under budget, and you feel Uncomfortable because you know you shouldn’t falsify information, but you also know that you should do what your manager says, and you should not be in this situation. When something is wrong, you will feel Uncomfortable. You might be able to just refuse to do it, or you might quit. It tells you something is wrong, and you have to decide what you should do with it.

Outcome Discomfort

You will also feel Uncomfortable when you’re not confident that all will be well. If someone is working on an electrical outlet, but they didn’t turn off the power, you might perceive an unacceptable probability that they will get hurt. If you are Uncomfortable in an unfamiliar area, you might perceive an unacceptably high probability of being the target of a crime. If you are Uncomfortable at a party or in a potentially compromising situation, you might perceive an unacceptable probability of it becoming a moral problem. When you feel uncomfortable like that, pay attention. If it looks like it is really heading in that direction, it might be time to leave. It might have been time to leave long before that.

Comfort, we must remember, isn’t always a good thing. It’s a magnificent resting point, a good time to recharge physically, emotionally, or spiritually. We can take great comfort knowing that we have a comfortable place to relax, but we should also seek to grow beyond our comfort levels and push ourselves until we are at least a little Uncomfortable. That means we’re growing, trying new things, becoming someone more than we would otherwise be. It can be exciting finding out what’s possible for you, pushing to be all the God designed you to be.

If we feel Uncomfortable, we need to make a decision: Do we push through it, take control of it, or do we need to avoid something? It largely depends upon how much control we have over the situation. Sometimes we have to make a choice between bad choices - risk doing something wrong by making false entries into the accounting books, or risk losing your job by refusing. My brother had to make that choice once, and he chose to leave the company that wanted him to do accounting in a way he believed might have been technically legal, but was morally and ethically wrong. Relationships might be damaged or lost, and often quite properly so, depending upon our response to Uncomfortable situations.

We might find that it's a growing experience. A parent will feel Uncomfortble giving their teen aged or adult child more freedom to make their own choices, but most parents of adult or near-adult children will admit that they aren't always comfortable doing so - what if their child makes poor choices? The adult child might be Uncomfortable, even feeling Inadquate, but they need to become adults - so they have to take the steps they need to take, even if that means they may stumble and fall. If we do not push past who we are, we will never feel Uncomfortable, but as we get used to the next level, we can push again and it's amazing what can be accomplished over time by someone willing to leave their comfort zone.